Why Do I Have Low Self Esteem ?


We all have low self esteem at times.  Some of us will admit it and some will not.   The common areas where most of us feel as if we fall short are in our financial situations, physical appearances, intelligence levels, and our material acquisitions-for the most part.  Well…also our sexual performance (but I won’t touch on that one today).

A few years back, I was able to creatively amass a large amount of money (with hard work as well). And almost Instantly, my way of life changed. My lifestyle, status quo, and material possessions resembled that of a monarch (at least that’s what I would like to think-lol).

I’m talking about being able to purchase anything I desired, I was treated differently by my peers, family members, and even strangers. I owned luxury vehicles, over 6 homes in multiple states, traveled frequently, and gave away what I could to whomever needed it.

After a series of decisions, which I thought were calculated and executed with perfection, went south- I depleted my bank accounts and lost my most prized possessions within months.  Building my mini empire took years of research, consistency, hard work, time, energy, and so on.

I was in total shock. If my self-esteem was at a 10- financially (on scale from 1-10), It was now negative 10 and my financial esteem deficit was eating notches from other areas in my life. In other words, I felt like a loser in other areas of my life due to my financial loss-not to mention its effects on my psyche.   My confidence was shattered to the point where simply crossing the street was a decision I contemplated a few times before taking action -LOL.

I hit rock bottom (at least under my definition). I began, of course, deciding on how to kill myself. I drafted suicide letters for my loved ones, but there was a tiny voice inside me saying “everything happens for a reason” (constantly).

I just couldn’t see a way out. I asked myself, “how can I come back from this?”. There was no solution in sight- even remotely down the line.  I prayed. I meditated. I visualized my life on how I would have it.  Nothing worked-so I thought.  I made the decision to persist (oddly enough) and I’m glad I did.  Five years later,  I weathered the storm and I earned the title of a fighter.  To make this long story shorter, I was able to use my life experience to help others in a myriad of ways (including this blog…hint…hint).

I share my personal story to show you that everything that occurs in our lives might just happen for a reason. These circumstances might be blessings in disguise.  And I’m still around (not dead) here to tell you that you can use everything that comes your way as fuel to your goals. “Every adversity or failure carries with it a seed of an equivalent or greater benefit. ”

-Dennis Kimbro. 

We are not our possessions but we think we are-some of us (at times).  We acquire material things; we cannot allow them to consume or acquire us.  We are way more than our physical appearance.  We are spiritual beings having a physical experience on earth.
How we look, our inadequacies, and our short comings can be used to our benefit or can be strengthened and used as an ally.

What are your thoughts? Don’t just read my blog and run off. This is Vent You.  Leave a comment below. Your opinion might just save someone’s life.  Until next time. Thanks for visiting my page.

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Categories: VENT TAB

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