How Can I Save My Relationship -101 ?


Okay, let’s face it! Relationships are not easy! Even if you feel as if you have the best mate on the planet,  you are still going to have “curve balls” thrown your way.  What do you do?  How do you react?  The single most important technique in life when dealing with a challenging situation is…(drum roll) how you respond.  What do I mean by this?  What the hell is this guy talking about?  LOL.  How I react to a particular event, predicament, circumstance, or whatever you want to call it, in most cases, may determine the mood of my day, month, year, and even my life.  For example, let’s say someone grabs my coffee at Starbucks ( I like their mocha coffee and chocolate-or whatever you call it-very pricey…lol.) by mistake thinking that my Mocha was theirs.  The “dead-end” way to react would be saying “Yo, what the f#@k are you doing, that’s my coffee?” or I could grab them by the throat and choke them until my coffee fell from their hands.  

The better option, with an unlimited potential of possibilities,  would be to slap on a fake smile (I’m just joking around- your smile should be genuine) then tap the coffee bandit on the shoulder and shout something like” I think you picked up my coffee by mistake”.  He/she  then returns the coffee back to you and apologizes.  While conversing, you both discover that you attended the same college and you mutually decide to keep in touch.  Fast forward, five years down the road the same coffee bandit ends up saving the life of your child.  Life is funny that way.  The way we respond to situations that may come our way can be very important!!!

 In relationships, we tend to sometimes respond in a negative fashion to actions that our significant others may carry out.  Now this is a warning sign of a deep rooted issue that we can possibly fix fairly easy.  The chip on our shoulder stems from us believing that our partners are extensions of who we are-this is false.   To encourage a healthy relationship, both people involved must be able to express the essence of who they are without judgement.   Furthermore, relationships can be likened to a unique dimension-the twilight zone…where the rules are very unusual to what we’re used to (at least if you want a relationship that works).  In a relationship, there’s no “right” or “wrong”  action or expression-in a given situation.  It just is what it is. Either you’re compatible or not!  It’s that simple!  You see a red flag-then run!   There are so many people out there that you can be compatible with-you don’t have to settle or lower your standards.  I hear you thinking out there in cyber space…saying to yourself “…but, it’s complicated”  or “it’s easier said than done”.  That’s not necessarily true.  It’s our way of thinking “sometimes” and about “some things” that gets in our way of making wise decisions.  We can truly become our own worst enemies.   When we’re looking for other things (whatever that may be), we tend to know exactly where to look.  And to take it a step further, if we purchase something we don’t like, we tend to return it within 30 days.  what’s the difference…LOL.

I went off on a tangent.  Okay, back to saving your relationship….

An example of how a relationship can be…  

You cannot love someone as an extension of yourself-more importantly- your significant other (at least for the purpose of this article).  We cannot be afraid to be ourselves in a relationship and expect it to work.   On the flip side, we cannot expect to control our partners or try to change them.  Except your partners for who they are, but first- accept yourself who you are.  You might notice you and your partner aren’t a good fit -or not!  That’s okay.  Life goes on!  Or you might need to tweak a few of your bad habits.  I cannot say to my mate (well- I could, but it’s not healthy) ” I wouldn’t do that so why should you?” this is a controlling type of question. What you’re really saying is “why aren’t you exactly like me?”. This is unfair to the person you’re talking to because you’re not allowing them to express themselves as themselves.  Once we stop expecting our loved ones to be exactly like us or extensions of ourselves, we will see our relationships blossom into awesomeness.  Do you agree or disagree?  Don’t just read my blog a run off!  Say something.  Make a comment below.  You might just save someone’s life with your opinion.  Yes, YOU.  

A sweet old cartoon man and woman smiling and looking at eachother. White background. Stock Photo - 12323273


 

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